


The Book Club

by AKA (TyeDyeBoogers)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adults, Alcohol, Bad Matchmaking, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, F/F, F/M, Gossip, Matchmaking, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Season/Series 03, Unrequited Love, adults doing adult things, crack that grew feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyeDyeBoogers/pseuds/AKA
Summary: Once a month the book club meets bringing together the friends for one night that is just for them with books and wine. While there might be books read, it is more than that, it's more than just a book club.Nathalie has always had the book club, the girls were like a second family, or perhaps a first but after Hawkmoth started terrorizing the city things started to change. More things were changing than she wanted. Book Club was a haven, until you remember that Nadja is an investigative journalist, Sabine though she looks sweet culd probably kill a man, and they all just want Nathalie and Penny to be happy.  Well, really the Club just wants the get Nathalie laid, it's just that there is more to the story.Or, the one in which the badass women of Miraculous defeat Hawkmoth?
Relationships: Caline Bustier & Marlena Césaire & Nadja Chamack & Sabine Cheng & Penny Rolling & Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur, Penny Rolling/Jagged Stone
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42





	1. Stolen Wine

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a crack fic loosely based on the movie but in ML, but when it comes to GabeNath and me nothing can ever be simple.
> 
> rated for adults doing adult things, language, and I'm a cautious author.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the club.

It was Friday. Blessed Friday. Nathalie sighed as she watched the clock tick-tick-tick toward eight in the evening. Her hours with Gabriel were often longer than a normal workday due to the nature of her position, but he always, always, always gave her the third Friday evening of every month off. No matter what, she always had the third Friday evening off. Her bag sat in her lap, clutched tightly in her grip as she waited for the long arm to make it to the top. 

Her toes wiggled impatiently. 

Yes.

Calmly she reached out and pressed the intercom button to Gabriel's office. He didn't even look up to the screen.

"I'll be leaving now, Sir." She said. Distractedly he hummed an affirmative response. Taking her finger off the button the screen flashed black before she rolled her eyes. Slipping the strap of her bag over her shoulders, she left the house with a skip in her step. 

Friday night was book club. 

Tonight, they were meeting at Nadja's house. When she pulled up, she could see the lights on in the apartment over the balcony. She reached into the footwell of the passenger side and heaved up the heavy bag there, bottles clinking even through the fabric. 

"Come in!" Nadja called after she knocked. Nathalie kicked of her shoes and lifted the bag high, bottles jostling and clanking. 

"Cupcakes are in the kitchen." Sabine's voice drifted from the living room. 

"I brought the wine!" She called to the cheers of the other women. She laughed, feeling the stress of the week melting away as she padded over to the couch. Nadja made 'gimme' motions while Sabine reached for the bag. Together they placed the bottles on the low table. Marlena picked up a bottle and made a low whistle.

"Damn, this is some good wine."

"Don't tell him, but I totally raided my boss's wine cellar." There was more laughter. 

"Nathalie!" gasped Nadja incredulously. 

"What? He never drinks it anyway. It's wasted on him."

"Just like you, my dear." Caline leaned over the back of the couch holding out a corkscrew. 

"We all know that he wouldn't be able to tie his shoes without you." Marlena said scathingly. The remark was punctuated by a pop as the cork pulled free. Nadja hopped over the back of the couch and came back holding a handful of glasses with a practiced hand. There was a murmur of consent among the group. Nathalie pouted.

"He's not that bad," She said defensively. She frowned at her friends taking one of the glasses from Nadja as Marlena filled them with deep ruby red wine. 

"Girl, please. The only reason you say that is because you are hopelessly in love with him." Marlena gave her a knowing look topping off her own glass. Nathalie's cheeks flamed red. She hid behind a large gulp of wine. It was full bodied and fruity, and outrageously expensive. Gabriel did have good taste. 

"Have you seen your face when you start talking about him? It's like," Nadja waved her hand as she searched for the words sufficiently sappy, " the sun comes out from behind the clouds. You start to glow." 

Nathalie's cheeks burned even hotter. She made a face at her friends, thoroughly embarrassed by the good-natured ribbing, but taking it all the same. It was a common refrain. The door opened and a breathless voice called, "I'm here! I made it." 

"Speaking of people in love with their boss," Nathalie mumbled as the purple head of Penny popped around the corner. 

"Penny, you made it." Nadja cried pulling her into a slightly tipsy hug. As a single mother, she doesn't get much time to drink and it showed in her flushed cheeks and gregarious hugging. 

Someone pressed a glass of wine into Penny's hand and the group piled on the couch a few taking the floor, with the group at its full capacity Nadja didn't quite have enough seats. Nathalie settled cross-legged next to Penny on the hard wood floor. Sabine, Nadja, and Marlena were squished together on the couch, while Caline had the overstuffed armchair all to herself. 

"Who else hated this book?" There was a chorus of groans. 

"Why did we pick it?" Caline asked. She frowned at the book propped on her knee. "Like what were we thinking?"

"It sounded like a familial bonding story." Sabine said. Her eyes widened in a large eye roll and she took a sip of her wine. 

"My god, it was some post-apocalyptic bullshit. Like why is this genre even a thing?" Nathalie added after taking a large drink. As if the wine could make it better. It didn't but it didn’t stop them from trying. Everyone had made it through their first glass and was well on their way to comfortably buzzed. 

"Please tell me, we have something better for this month." Marlena grumbled, she stretched out to prop her feet on the table, hugging one of the throw pillows. "As if we could finish a book with the number of akumas cropping up. We've hit three in one day this week."

"Hawkmoth is getting a little ridiculous, don't you think?" Nadja leaned against Sabine, her face flushed.

"You're ridiculous!" Caline poked the reporter's knee with her toe jokingly. 

"Says Zombizou." They laughed. Caline dug the pillow out from behind her back and threw it toward the couch. There was some squealing as Nadja flailed trying to block it. The pillow hit one of her hands and bounced back at Caline, whacking her in the face before falling to the floor. More laughter followed.

Penny demanded after they calmed back down, "Guys, catch me up! Finally, back in Paris, I need all the deets. Tell me everything" 

There was a bit of a fumbling as they all started talking at once, then broke off laughing. They spent a lot of time laughing at book club, which was sorely needed with all the akumas running around. They opened another bottle, sharing out slightly tipsy pours. 

"God, this is really good wine." Penny exclaimed looking down into the glass with a look of awe. 

"You can thank, Nat. She stole it from her boss." Nadja sang, leaning forward and sloshing her cup precariously. Nathalie snatched up the pillows and hid behind it. The wine making her flush come even easier. 

"Ooooh, what's that blush for?" Penny leaned into Nathalie bumping their shoulders together. 

"That's just because Nathalie's in love with her boss," Caline said taking a pointed sip of the pilfered libation. Nathalie lashed out at the teacher with the pillow. Penny, herself flushed at the statement. Sabine watched this with a sly little smile on her lips. 

"What do you even like about him?" Caline leaned forward to focus on Nathalie. Nathalie rolled the glass in her fingers, swishing the wine in a slow swirl. 

"He's," she stared at the red liquid, "creative and driven. He's loyal. When he does anything, he does it completely, throws his whole self in. He makes me want to do anything for him." She sighed. The tangle of emotions showed on her face, freed by the wine. "And despite his horrible color palate, he is very handsome." 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Caline mumbled into her wine. Nathalie leaned back against the chair and scrunched her brows up at the teacher. The rest of the women didn't hear that remark. Nadja held her cheeks with a besotted look. Sabine had one hand pressed against a small smile. Penny looked down into her glass like it held all the answers. She chewed at her lip.

"I can understand that," Penny murmured. Her fingers playing with the stem of the wine glass. 

"The way you talk about him," Sabine sighed. "Reminds me of when Tom and I met. He just made me feel, everything." She leaned forward causing Nadja to fall into the open space, as she reached out one hand. Nathalie placed her own in the petite woman's hold. Sabine placed her other hand on top, a sympathetic smile on her face. "With true love it always works out." 

Nathalie's shoulders sagged. She squeezed her friend's hand a sad smile washing away the cheerfulness that had been slowly lifting her tension. She pulled her hand away. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she looked down. "Sabine, I don’t think it will. We aren't true love."

"But isn't his wife gone?" Nadja asked, with all the tact of a drunk. 

"He's married?" Marlena shot her a look. 

"He doesn't love me, so don't worry Mar." Nathalie dropped her chin to her knees.

"But she's been gone for years now, Nat." Nadja persisted. 

"one year, and not for him she hasn't. He still loves her; with everything he has in him. He's so fiercely loyal to her, to her memory."

"And you love him all the more for that," Caline slipped off her chair to wrap her arms around Nathalie, as the other woman nodded miserably. "You sure can pick 'em, Nat. First, it was the dean and now it's your boss."

"I haven't had nearly enough wine for this," Nathalie grabbed the open bottle and put it to her mouth. Caline took the bottle from her and took her own drink before passing it back. Nathalie looked to her oldest friend. "Sometimes I envy you."

"I still fall in love, Nat." 

"No, I know. It's just so hard, so close every damn day, and I'm a stupid bitch. I wish he didn't look so good in those fucking pants. Who the hell thinks red pants is everyday attire? But they just mold," she broke off with a groan. 

"No, no, go on. Tell us how nice his ass is," Caline swiped the wine bottle again. Nathalie shoved the ginger making her topple over, she had to catch herself with her elbow on the floor with a laugh. 

"Please do tell," Nadja leaned forward. "I want to hear about Gabriel Agreste's ass. That man is a fine specimen. Did you know he used to model his own clothes early on? Damn. I'm not saying that I had his picture on my wall, but-"

"Nadja, you're drunk. Go home." Caline laughed. 

"I am home?" She tilted her head squinting. The others laughed falling into helpless mirth through the aid of alcohol.

"Yeah, honey, you're home" Sabine said patting her knee. Nadja nodded and leaned against the arm of the couch head pillowed on her arm. Her glazed eyes drooped. 

"Wait, who is this guy?" Marlena asked, confusedly. She pulled out her phone to google him trying to juggle the device and her wine. There was some nere fumbling until she shrugged draining her glass to free her hands. Sabine leaned over a wicked grin on her face pointing at something. 

"Click that one."

"Damn, Nat." She whistled low and appreciatively scrolling through the google search images. "I can see what you mean. Not my type but wow." 

Penny crawled over to lean on the arm and see the pictures that Sabine and Marlena were appreciating. 

"What have I done?" Nathalie moaned dropping her head on Caline's shoulder. Caline reached around to pat her cheek. 

"You have shared with our humble group a mighty blessing."

"Blessing?"

"Gabriel Agreste's ass."

"You don't even see people like that." Nathalie dropped her face into her hands. "I hate you all."

"I think he's perfectly aesthetically pleasing." 

"My god," Penny perked up over the phone to ask Nathalie, "does he still look this good?"

Peering through her fingers, face still covered by her hands, she nodded. Caline handed her the bottle back, there was still some wine left in that one. The thoroughly embarrassed woman finished it in one go. She placed the bottle on the floor harder than she meant to, the sound of it jerking Nadja awake. 

"Whazzat?" She slurred in a combination of sleep and booze. "More wine?" 

"No more wine for you, hun." Caline, subtly slide her glass away from her. Nadja nodded limply and flopped back down on the armrest. 

Nathalie opened another bottle while surveying the wine bottle graveyard. It wasn't nearly as bad as last years Christmas fiasco, which was probably a good thing. She took a swig from the fresh bottle and felt the warm feeling of the wine spread through her. She pushed to her feet swaying a little, arms shot out to balance, having not realized how much she had already drunk. Nathalie moved around the table to drop onto the laps of Sabine and Marlena, her head dropped down next to Penny's on the armrest. The tiny screen of the phone was full of all the angles of young Gabriel. 

"Are you done looking at spicy old pictures of my boss?" She held out the wine, as a peace offering. Sabine took the proffered bottle. Nathalie arched her neck to look at Penny upside down. "Or do we need to talk about Jagged?"

Sabine and Marlena made twin noises of pain and shoved her off. Nathalie hit the floor with a thud, then start giggling. 

"What's this about Jagged?" Sabine asked turning her serene smile on Penny, it was the smile that winkled secrets out of people. 

"No-nothing!" Penny stammered. She swiped the wine on its way to Marlena. Marlena turned, quite offended, to see the blush suffusing the agent's face, her outrage morphing into one of glee. 

"Penny, are you in love with Jagged?"

"Yep!" Nathalie had managed to stop laughing and move into a seated position. Penny chugged the wine and didn't say anything. "Who'd have thought, two of us in love with unattainable men." 

"Can we not talk about this tonight?" Penny asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. They looked at Penny, the four still awake, then looked at each other. Nathalie pulled Penny into a hug and gave her a drunk kiss on the cheek. 

"Of course." 

Penny flashed them a grateful smile. Settling down with her back against the couch next to Marlena's legs. She sipped at the bottle. Caline pushed the coffee table gently away to make more space for her to curl up under Sabine. Nathalie dropped down flat on the floor capping off the space. 

"Nat, you good?" Caline asked. 

"Yeah, nothing is worse than Gabriel in a bad mood."

"That's depressing."

"He's not good with emotions."

Nadja made a little snuffling noise. Five pairs of eyes swiveled to her. Followed by indulgent smiles. 

"Next time, we need to make sure she doesn't drink too much." Marlena commented. 

"She's such a light weight."Caline agreed. 

"Oh, give her a break, she doesn't get to cut lose like ever," Sabine said softly chastising. 

They settled into soft conversation about the things that had happened since the last meeting, just catching up. They fell asleep like that. Nathalie's head was propped on Caline's legs and Penny's legs were thrown over Nathalie's, while Sabine had fallen against Nadja, with Marlena up against her. This was not the weirdest situation that they had woken up in. 

The women broke up each going their separate ways for another month, another book in their hands. It wasn't always a month before they saw each other but could also be more than one in the case of Penny. Often, they would see each other, but never as the full group of them. 

As Nathalie drove away, though the night felt a little fuzzy, in the way that good times always feel, though a little aided by alcohol. There was a lightness in her chest. With the truth out there in the air she felt lighter, able to smile a little brighter to herself. There was a part of her that knew she needed to get it out, share it with someone, to keep the feelings from suffocating her. It was a part of her that she hadn't even realized was slowly squishing her until it was free. 


	2. Akumas aren't fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next month finds our Book club not quite a week after Troublemaker. It turns out that Akumas leave more of a lasting effect than everyone thought. 
> 
> This chapter is more angsty.

The book club been meeting for years, a little slice of normal in the insanity that was Nathalie's life. Starting with just Nadja, Sabine, and Nathalie and a chance meeting at a coffee shop. It had grown from there, gaining the others over the years. Starting with Caline as she had been most curious as to what managed to get her reclusive roommate to actually leave the house for neither work nor school. Quickly Penny was brought in. Though she was a several years younger than the rest of the women she was welcomed with open arms, after all age becomes sort of pointless after a certain time. The five of them forming a little family, based on an enduring love of books, but growing into much more than that.

Still to this day she looked forward to every meeting. This month was no different. Nathalie sat at her desk, her fingers drumming on the desktop, staring out into the room blankly. Gabriel stood at the podium reworking some of his designs where he looked out over the mini runway. He kept flicking his eyes at her. She could feel the weight of his gaze and she tried not the feel the shiver that went down her spine. 

"Nathalie," Gabriel's voice cut through the air.

"Sir?" She snapped to attention. 

"Is there something on your mind?" 

"It's Friday, sir. The third Friday." He stared at her blankly. "I have the third Friday evening off."

"Oh, right." He looked away. His hand stilled on the screen. She could feel the wheels turning in his mind from her desk half a room away. "Nathalie, what is it you do, on these nights off?"

"It's a book club." She scrutinized him. 

"You’re still doing that? Is that why you’ve carrying that book around lately?"

"Yes, sir." She nodded. Rarely did Gabriel remember to notice anything outside his own head. The single-minded focus was impressive to watch as he designed, producing beautiful artworks of fabric and ingenuity, but when it came to other aspects of his life it was more aggravating. It seemed as though today Gabriel had managed to notice something other than himself for a change. When she looked to him, she found Gabriel was looking at her a strange expression on his face. Her phone beeped and her hand twitched toward the device but no further, as she was caught in the dark steel of his gaze. 

"Father?" It was the call from Adrien that broke the spell. Nathalie looked down to her phone, several texts from Caline made the notification light blink no doubt asking for Nathalie to pick some stuff up on her way over. She gathered her things and stopped before she opened the door, one hand resting on the curved edge of the door handle. The cool metal pressed to her fingers providing a solid resolve for what she was about to say. 

"You should spend some time with your son." With that she was away, pushing through the door into the gaping atrium. Adrien stood at the foot of the stairs, caught mid step. "Good night, Adrien. Your father would be happy to talk." She pitched her voice so it would carry through the door into the atelier to the obstinate man therein. 

"Thanks, Nathalie. Have fun a book club." Adrien called after her sounding more cheerful than normal. She nodded a faint smile turning up her lips as she finally left the house, that felt a little too much like home. 

This month the book club was meeting at Caline's place, which was also Nathalie's in a way. The two had been flat mates since their university days, but with her position at Gabriel and all its added benefits, she hadn't lived there in a while, spending most of her time at the Agreste Mansion. She still carried half the rent (teachers don't get paid enough), and Caline kept the rest of her stuff. Sometimes she missed living with her best friend, but part of her liked being so near to Gabriel. A poor tortured part of herself. 

Nathalie's keys jingled in the lock after the handle didn’t turn in her hand. The heavy bottles in the bag slung over her arm hit the wood of the door in a noisy clatter she wrested free the keys and pushed it open. 

"Hey." Caline looked up from where she was straightening the living room. It had been rearranged to fit the evening. The repurposed door table sat on cinderblocks surrounded by the futon couch and bean bags, and there was even Nathalie's poor attempt at a crochet pouf, all positioned in a comfortable oval. 

"Need any help?" 

"No, I think I'm all good," Caline said as she fluffed a pillow placing it just so on the couch. Nathalie popped her head into her room and dropped her things, lamenting the film of dust starting to cover everything. It had been far too long. When she moved out to the living room again, Caline was over by the repurposed shelves, her fingers just barely grazing a tube of lip balm. Nathalie remembered Zombizou. Her chest felt tight and moving closer she slipped an arm around Caline’s shoulders surprising her friend. She jolted tearing her eyes away from the innocuous little thing and turning haunted eyes on Nathalie. 

"You know, I love you, right?" Nathalie focused on Caline’s face over the rim of her glasses. 

"By now, you are stuck with me so you better." Caline chuckled. Nathalie pulled Caline into a hug, briefly squeezing all of the air out of the woman’s lungs. It pulled a little laugh free as Caline pushed her lightly away.

"What are best friends for?"

There was a knock at the door, followed immediately by Sabine skillfully carrying several boxes stacked on one hand. Nadja closed the door behind them, a bag in her hand. 

"I brought bread, and the leftovers from the bakery. Marlena should be here soon; she's bringing the cheese, or that’s what she said. " Sabine placed the boxes on the kitchen counter with the ease of much practice. 

"After last month, probably a good idea," Nathalie teasingly nudged Nadja.

"No one is allowed to let me drink that much tonight." Nadja pointed at the gathered women. They chorused agreement. Caline placed a hand on her heart, the other raised in the scout salute trying to look solemn. 

Nathalie eagerly flipped open the boxes searching through the goodies. With a pleased noise she pulled out a plastic tray of lavender macarons. Sabine smiled and patted her back. Caline reached to take one but Nathalie covered the sweets with a hand and narrowing her eyes at Caline. 

"Don't worry, I've brought plenty. I know they are your favorite Nathalie." Sabine placed another tray on the counter. Grinning wickedly before Nathalie had a chance to abscond the new tray Caline snuck past her guard, swiping one from the tray. She bit into the delicate sweet triumphantly grinning at the scowl she received. Nathalie made an unhappy noise in her throat holding the tray in her hands a little closer. The others laughed. 

There was a thud at the door. "Help please!" Marlena called; her voice muffled through the door. Caline who was closest, and host, moved to open the door revealing a heavily laden Marlena on the other side. Her hands were full of bags and boxes, leaving not even a finger free. One of the precarious boxes slid as she tried to step forward, heading for an end over end tumble toward the ground. Marlena tried to catch it but only served to nearly lose more of her load. There was a muffled curse followed by a scramble as several sets of hands met Marlena at the door pulling boxes out of her arms. Nathalie had to hastily stuff the last of a macaron in her mouth, trying not to spill the rest as she too hustled over to help. 

"What did you do? Raid the restaurant?" Nathalie asked behind her macaron as their new bounty dropped onto the counter. At Marlena's guilty look she choked on the sweet. Coughing she sent an incredulous look at the woman. "Last time you gave me shit for taking some wine, and you swiped from the restaurant?"

"Andre can afford it, in fact it might do him some good,” she grumbled. 

"You're not wrong," Nadja laughed and helped relieve the rest of the load still hanging from Marlena’s arms, the fabric bags bulging with bounty. The women fell into a comfortable conveyer system as they worked together to arrange the goodies. Soon they had a platter of cheese and bread spread out on the table. Glasses of wine in hand, the five settled into the squishy seats. "Is Penny in town?"

There was a knock at the door. Caline pointed at the door, a half smile on her lips. Penny walked in feet dragging. Her eyes had dark circles like smears of mascara though she wasn’t wearing any makeup. She looked more haggard than she ever had before, even at her most run ragged. 

"Hi," she said voice small and hesitant. Caline and Sabine who had taken the couch pulled her down between them and sandwiched her in a hug. She leaned into the hug, her eyes closing. Nathalie placed a glass of wine on the table before her, one hand ruffling her short purple hair. 

"What's wrong, honey?" Nadja asked after Penny had pulled free of the hug to take a grateful sip of wine. Penny blew out a gusty breath. There was more than just weariness lingering about her.

"I haven't been sleeping well," she was still sandwiched tightly between the two sweetest members of the group. She leaned her head on Caline's shoulder while Sabine took her free hand. "I just – I keep having nightmares. I can't close my eyes without remembering. I just keep seeing everything I did."

The group fell silent, watching and waiting for Penny to get it out. They knew that she would talk when she was ready. 

"At first, when Ladybug and Chat Noir cleansed the akuma and I was free, I didn’t remember much. It was all a bit of blur like the world had been painted in watercolors, faded and soft at the edges. It was like I fell into a Monet painting and the world was no longer real. The memories came back later. They came back when I closed my eyes. Now every time I try to sleep all I can see is what I did to everyone. What I did to Jagged." Tears pooled in her eyes making them waver in the light. "All I can feel are the feelings that Hawkmoth made me feel as though they were only feelings I should ever feel, and the guilt. I feel so guilty for letting those emotions in, for what I did you everyone. To you Sabine, your family."

Sabine held her hand tighter, knuckles whitening as the only indication of her movement. "We forgive you Penny. It wasn’t your fault."

"That's just it! It was. It was all me." The tears spilled over. She put the glass down to cover her eyes, but the tears dripped free curving over her cheeks leaving shiny tracks glinting in the low light. "Hawkmoth manipulated my feelings but that was all me. And I hate myself for it. I hurt – I hurt the people I love, and it wasn’t all Hawkmoth's fault. I remember it all and I know that it was me."

Nathalie looked away, staring down into jewel toned wine seeming much darker now. Troublemaker had been a recent akuma, the memory of her near victory swam into her mind. As Troublemaker she had gotten closer to succeeding than any of the previous akumas. The frustration of that failure had Gabriel fuming for days. 

Listening to the soft sounds of Penny’s crying a hollow feeling clawed at her insides making her stomach feel like it was gone. Nathalie felt tears burn in her own eyes, looking up forcing them back she looked to Penny again but caught on Caline. She stared into empty space eyes caught on a place that didn’t seem to exist, expression frozen like marble, cold and immobile. The type of expression that never marred Caline’s face in Nathalie’s memory. On Caline’s other side Nadja made a little noise which she swiftly covered by a gulp of wine. Her face blanched, leaving her normally sanguine face ashen, almost as though a wax figurine had replaced her.

"We all feel emotions, it's part of being human." Caline said softly. "It's how we deal with them that makes us better than him. If we can manage our negative emotions, by acknowledging them and dealing with them instead of letting them take over, that bastard will lose his power." Caline leaned her head on top of Penny, who was still sniffling. "I know it's hard, but you have to forgive yourself, Pen."

"How, though?" Nadja's question surprised them. It was faint but cut through the silence that had fallen among them. "How do you forgive yourself for putting people in danger? How do you forgive yourself for nearly killing children? How do you -?" she broke off her voice thick and tight. 

With a rustling and shifting, sounding so loud in the thick silence that had fallen in the apartment, Marlena struggled out of the bean bag chair she was sitting in to join Nadja on hers. "I never blamed you. You must know that Nadja. Not once. I know that you would never hurt anyone, my kid, or anyone else's. I see how much you love Manon, no one with so much love inside her could ever hurt others willingly." This only made Nadja start crying too. 

"But Penny's right. You don't remember right away but the memories, they come back, and you are in control. I put your daughter in danger. It was me. And part of me wants you to hate me. I want you to hate me, so I know that I'm right to hate myself." Nadja’s words bubbled through the tears that were rapidly devolving into sobs choking her voice toward the end. 

"Hawkmoth, doesn't think about how what he does effects the people he targets." Caline murmured. "He pulls up all the negative, makes you feel the worst you've ever felt, and twists it until all that's left is the bad. Then he gives you direction, and just lets go. He turns us the worst versions of ourselves, but you are right. It is still us underneath." 

Nathalie sat there feeling as though all the air was being sucked from the room, on her awful pouf that nearly flattened to the floor under her weight, her wine glass listed in her hand tipping precariously toward the pale carpet. She watched as three of the strongest women she knew, her friends, broke down, and it was all because of Hawkmoth. It was all because of Gabriel. 

Nathalie believed in him. She knew that his reason was good. He only wanted his wife back, what was so wrong with that. He only wanted to make his son happy again by bringing his mother home. It was a good reason and the end justified the means. After all he hadn’t really been hurting people, but that wasn’t true, was it? She looked through wavering eyes at Nadja’s shaking shoulder, Caline silent tears, and Penny’s wracking sobs, and wondered if she could really justify this price. It felt as if a massive hand had taken hold of her insides and clenched tight. 

She reached out taking Nadja's hand then Caline's hand. Holding tight they clung to her like a buoy holding them fast against the currents of pain that filled the room and crashed over them all. She wished she could say something, anything to defend Gabriel, but she couldn't find any words. Her eyes fell on the tube of lipstick that sat all by itself in one of the cubes of the bookshelf, so alone, like a reminder of Caline’s worst moment set there in its own little frame of shame. 

She tore her gaze away, forcing herself to look somewhere else, anywhere else. This only made the tears building behind her eyes fall free, hot and guilt as they splashed to her knees. She looked to the other victims Nadja and Penny have the same horrible reminders hanging over their heads too. The giant hand around her core clenched a little tighter pulling every bit of her taught with it. Gabriel’s desperate eyes filled her mind and she knew, she knew that she would do anything for him. She would not stop him. Nathalie desperately wanted to see him happy, even if it wasn’t with her. She just hoped that it would be soon, so that this could end. Gripping her friends hands a little tighter 

They stayed that way. For seconds, or minutes, or hours, time was relative here in this moment as they comforted each other and were comforted in return. The wine and food sat forgotten, much like the book that they didn't really read. 

Eventually the tears dried up, but the feelings were still there. Those feelings of guilt and fear and self-loathing. A fresh ball of guilt and unease sat fresh in Nathalie's chest making it hard to swallow. There was a thick silence that made the air heavy, weighted, hard to push through but push they did, or rather Marlena did as she put voice to the sentiments that Nathalie knew lived in the heart of each of them

"If you guys ever need us, call. If you just need to talk or something." Marlena said, she hugged Nadja a little tighter as she looked over the others. "We are here. This is what we are here for." 

There was a murmur of agreement from all sides of the room. Clinging tighter for one moment more before the tableau broke, fracturing as they as a group moved closer together, to feel the comfort of each other. 

"I brought cards against humanity." Marlena said, wiggling her eyebrows. 

They dropped the futon down into its flat position, pilling on until no more could fit and they played the naughty card game. They managed to consume all of the cheese and most of the bread. Their laughter worked to wash away the lingering sadness, that would never really leave, but it felt better to push it aside for one night. They fell asleep like that, the cards still in their hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Who's got a new boo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juice and gossip. Juicy gossip?

"So, you have to update us, Nat." Nadja draped an arm around Nathalie from over the back of the couch, subsequently draping half on top of her. "How is that _fine_ boss of yours?" 

Nathalie rolled her eyes and scooted out from under Nadja. Without the support Nadja went flopping face first into the couch cushions with a muffled ‘oomph’. Nadja huffed pushing up on her hands to glare without malice at Nathalie, who just gave her one of _those_ looks. Caline snorted turning back to her task lips pressed tight fighting a smile when both other women shot glares at her. Nadja pausing in her struggle to right herself in order to do so. Nadja wasn’t even drunk, and she still couldn’t push free. Sabine paused on her way to the couch to grab the back of Nadja’s jacket and pull her upright. 

Settling into the new seat Nathalie took a sip of her drink, it was orange juice this meeting, since they were at Marlena's place. She didn't keep an alcohol in the place. Not even cooking wine. Instead they had a lovely selection of fruit juices from the simple and classic orange, for which Nathalie had opted, to the exotic pineapple and pomegranate choices. 

"Oh, come on! Spill, I have to live my life vicariously through you." Caline cajoled, one hand resting on the neck of the carafe of blueberry juice. Nathalie shot Caline a look, which was turned right back on her. "Everyone knows teachers have no lives outside of school." 

"Or you simply enjoy voyeurism?" 

"Ouch, you wound me," Caline responded dead pan, thunking the last carafe of juice back onto to the kitchen counter. There was a smattering of giggles as Nadja and Sabine laughed. Nathalie watched slightly disgusted as Caline took a sip of the monstrous concoction she’s just completed by pouring every juice together in one cup. Mango and pineapple are a great combination, or even pomegranate and blueberry but all of them at the same time, Nathalie didn’t think so. Caline savored the juice lips smacking, and eyebrows furrowed. She picked up one of the juices to add more of it to the cacophony of flavor. “No, Nat, you know I love _love_ , so give me the love.” 

"It's been weird, actually." Nathalie bit her lip as familiar action to her now as the chapped skin fell under her teeth once more. It had been weird not only because of her growing unease with every new akuma, but also "He's been asking me questions lately. Like he's taking an interest in me more than he ever has before? Like the line between professional and personal is thinning? Is that a weird thing to say?” 

“Not at all,” Sabine reached over the corner to pat Nathalie’s shoulder. “It was bound to happen, after all you've been working together a long time." 

"Isn't that a good thing?" Malena wondered aloud as she stepped through to the living room area tugging the oven mitts from her hands. She stopped, popping one hip against the edge of the couch tucking the mitts under one arm. 

"I'm not sure.” Nathalie sighed two fingers pressing to her forehead. The image of Emilie’s coffin surrounded paradoxically by green growing things rose unbidden in her mind. She shifted forward, leaning her weight on to her arms, cup help limply before her. “He's still in love with his wife." 

"Are you sure? He's not just in love with the idea of his wife?" A weight dropped onto the seat beside her, the familiar touch of her friend’s comfort wound around her. Another weary sigh slipped free as she leaned into Caline’s hold. 

"No, he's definitely in love with her." Nathalie thought back. Though she had immensely enjoyed antagonizing Audrey Bourgeois, the woman was horrid, the resultant Akuma had been one of the worst Nathalie had ever experienced. Her guilt was growing, but every time she looked into his steely eyes, she felt her heart melt. She was just Nathalie goo on the inside when it came to Gabriel. There had been a moment, a brief moment where Gabriel had walked away. He was going to stop. Her traitorous heart leapt at that. Only to be crushed flat. She would do whatever it took to help Gabriel, but it was starting to take its toll, and she couldn’t even confide in her friends. If they ever found out, they would hate her. That feeling clenched around her heart again choking away her breath. Her next words were so quiet that they were nearly inaudible. "He's still stuck in the past." 

"How could he be so blind?" Caline asked, her fingers smoothing back some of Nathalie’s hair. She sounded equal parts perplexed and infuriated all on behalf of Nathalie. A warmth blossomed in her chest with the realization pushing away the heavy grip slightly and letting her air flow again. 

"Yeah, Nathalie, you are a catch." Nadja said. "If you were that hopelessly in love with me, I'd take you up on that in a heartbeat." 

"Speaking of you, anyone new?" Nathalie grasped the change of topic like a drowning man to driftwood. Thankfully, the others latched onto the new topic easily particularly as Nadja’s cheeks suffused a delicate red. In fact, her face was starting to match her hair. "Oh, there _is_ someone." 

"No! Well, I. No.” Nadja spluttered, the words tripping over each other in her mouth becoming one confused jumble that practically screamed she was lying. She wilted under the unrelenting stares from the book club, flopping back into the couch she covered her face with her hands making her next words muffled. “I just, I bumped into to this gorgeous woman in a café, and-" She trailed of sighing dreamily. "I don’t even know who she is. That’s all. I spilled her coffee so I bought her a new one. It just felt all sparky and fantastic. I haven't felt that since Manon's father died." 

"If you feel it's time, you should go for it." Sabine took a bite of a blue topped cupcake. The garish color not a normal product for the bakery, this month's munchies courtesy of a Marinette botched order. The vibrant color stained teeth making the sympathetic grin a little menacing. Nadja wasn’t looking though, still hiding behind her own hands. She flung them away rather more forcefully than she meant by the sheepish look that followed. Cautiously Nadja pulled her legs up, curling around them. 

"I think I might be. It’s been years, so many years and I think, he would want me to be happy. I'll always love him, I know that. It feels a little bit like replacing him," Nadja played with the hem of her pant leg, nails scratching along the seam with satisfying little bumps. 

"Are you? Or are you letting yourself be happy again?" Marlena placed a platter full of artfully made bruschetta down on the low table, a meaningful look directed at Nadja. She moved back into the kitchen. 

"I also worry about bringing someone into Manon's life. She never even got to know her father, but what if she gets attached then the relationship ends?" Nadja admitted fearfully, her eyes tracking Marlena’s movement for a moment before focusing on the food. 

"I think it’s okay to be happy. You'll know the right thing to do, just trust you heart. Not your libido." Marlena leaned over the back of the couch next to the reporter. "I've been there before. After Nora's father," She cleared her throat. "It's still hard, but I know that had I never let Otis in, I wouldn’t have my beautiful baby girls. Nora wouldn't have her sisters, who she loves more than anything. Moving on isn't forgetting. Letting yourself be happy isn’t a crime." She patted Nadja's shoulder then leaned further to drop the plates onto the table, something with which she probably had a lot of practice going by the ease of the action. 

Nadja looked away from all of them, finding her knees of the utmost interest, her fingers stilling on her ankles. "Maybe I'll run into her again. Then we'll see." 

"We look forward to an update next meeting, " Nathalie declared to the agreement of the others. Nadja flushed. Nathalie couldn’t help the feeling of finally turning the tables on Nadja who had been needling about her love life for far too long. Nathalie tried to suppress the grin that was tugging at her lips, though it apparently wasn’t working if the crinkling of Nadja’s nose in her direction. The towel that dropped over her head cut it off right quick though. Nathalie yanked it away, eyes narrowing at Marlena who was walking passed with careful nonchalance. 

"We also want to know about how your wiles are working on Gabriel," Malena had wandered back in cup in hand to finally take a seat with the rest of them, her shoulder now conspicuously bare. Nathalie balled the towel up and tried to chuck it back at the other woman, but the ball dissolved mid flight smacking it over the side of Sabine’s face. 

“Sorry Sabine!” Nathalie immediately apologized; her words slightly squeakier than normal. The tiny woman turned blue stained teeth and flat eyes on her. She couldn’t hold it for very long before it crumpled into laughter, cheerful and bubbling like a brook. She grabbed the towel and completed the throw into Marlena’s face. There was some indignant spluttering and much mirth. 

“Hey now!” came Marlena’s indignant exclamation. 

“As the reason I got caught in the crossfire, it’s only fair.” Sabine nonchalantly took a sip of her juice and then grimaced, which triggered some more giggling. They fell into a comfortable chatter, the fresh snack getting shared around. Nathalie couldn’t stop her thoughts from falling back onto what they had said. The desperate and completely idiotic hope that maybe, just maybe – no. She daren’t hope for such a thing, not when she knew the truth and that was the problem wasn’t. She knew the truth. Nothing could ever come of it, and her friends just didn’t realize that. 

Caline tapped Nathalie’s legs, which had invaded Caline's seat the moment she had left it, to drop back into her seat, graciously taking the legs back that came with it. Caline handed Nathalie one of the plates in her hand heaped with bruschetta. Her own rested on Nathalie's shins like a table. 

"You guys are so sure that he's going to fall for me when, I keep telling you this is purely unrequited. It's all just me." Nathalie’s fingers pinched a piece of still steaming bruschetta lifting it from the plate but only an inch or so, it hovered there stalled on the way to her mouth. 

“We’ve already established that you are a catch.” 

“Yes, but -” 

“No! No buts,” Caline flicked one of her toes, an unhappy frown marring her face. Nathalie yelped and nearly pulled her legs back but by know they were trapped under Caline’s arms. She tucked the stinging toe under her other foot and frowned right back at Caline. “Don’t go pulling that Sancoeur bullshit on us again.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“ _Oh, I’m a Sancoeur. That means I have no heart with which to love_ ,” Caline pressed a dramatic hand to her chest, the nasally high-pitched character voice not actually anything like Nathalie’s but it was clearly supposed to be. Nathalie pulled her legs back and used one foot to shove Caline over. She fell sideways chortling trying to not lose the bread pieces on her plate. 

“Hun, you do kind of do that.” Nathalie turned her frown on Sabine. The smaller woman put up a supplicant hand, her shoulder raised in a half shrug. Nathalie looked away her lips flattening into an unhappy line. It wasn’t her fault she had been cursed with such a family name. You don’t exactly get to pick those. 

“I didn’t choose to have Sancoeur as my name.” She crossed her arms, shoulders rising up around her ears. 

“You aren’t doing much to try and refute that, are you?” Nadja sloshed her cup of juice dangerously as she gestured toward Nathalie. She wasn’t wrong, none of them were and that was the worst part. She just hated to admit it. She fought the thoughts that she had inflicted this pain on herself 

"No. If you are so sure that we can’t possibly be right, I challenge you. Use that ridiculous security system you keep complaining about to see how many times he looks at you in a day." Caline dared her. Nathalie felt the familiar rise of competition. She had never be very good at backing down from a challenge, as Caline well knew. 

"Ugh, fine. If only to prove you wrong." Nathalie groaned, but conceded. She took an angry bite of bruschetta, finally, and stopped scowling as the flavors subsumed her palate. Slightly sweet balsamic reduction, just enough to cut the acidity of the tomatoes, underscored but the cheese and topped with the fresh herby basil. It was a common appetizer, but what Marlena had done was exceptional. There was a reason she was the head chef of _Le Grand Paris._

“You are only going to prove us right.” Caline patted her knee, grinning at the glare shot at her. 

“It’s only been a year since Emilie - left. Weren’t we just saying earlier that it takes time to move on and not rush things?” 

“Yeah, well, I’m a hypocrite.” Caline just shrugged leaning back into the couch, her now empty plate on the table before them. One hand rested on her stomach, a content smile on her lips. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all the times you came home on tenterhooks or frazzled to wit's end because of that woman and their relationship.” 

“I think you are sugar coating things, Nat. It’s like just because she’s gone now means she was some sort of angel. We all remember _the incident._ ” Sabine looked to Nathalie sadly, her feet tucked up under her and arms resting on a throw pillow in her lap. Nathalie looked away, the familiar old feelings surging once again. Her fingers felt numb as she tried to hide them in her lap. Sabine’s face softened sympathetically. “Not to bring the past up, but Nathalie, that relationship was a lot more broken than you think.” 

“You guys keep saying these things. I can’t afford to get my hopes up. He’s in love with his _wife_.” Nathalie’s face fell into her hands, the desperate exasperation groaned out of her. She was getting tired of repeating the same thing and believing it a little less each time. Nathalie’s hopes were growing, even as she knew that they shouldn’t, they should wither in the pot just like every plant she’d ever tried to grow. 

“Tell me how many times he looks at you in a day, then worry about whether or not to get your hopes up.” Caline propped her chin on Nathalie’s shoulder, arms going around Nathalie in a hug that squished around her arms pinning them in place. She dropped her hands as far as they could go, looking first to Caline and then to the others. When the sigh dropped her tension, they knew they had won; she could see it on their faces. 

“You guys suck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
